Brene Brown is a brilliant and talented author. I just finished Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, and Lead. Together with her previous books, The Gifts of Imperfection (main idea: be you), and Daring Greatly (main idea: be all in), this book outlines the process for living a whole-hearted life.
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with or endorsed by the publisher or author, and am receiving no compensation for writing this article.
If you reach out to connect to others through vulnerability often enough, you will inevitably fall. Rising Strong outlines the process of getting up and trying again.
Rising Strong Process
The Rising Strong Process is broken into three parts:
- The Reckoning
- The Rumble
- The Revolution
Through this process, we can learn to connect with others, learn from missteps, get up, and connect again.
During the reckoning stage, the key is to recognize our emotion (notice we are feeling something), and get curious. Write your “Stormy First Draft” (SFD) by completing the sentence: “The story I’m telling myself is…”
In the rumble stage, we give ourselves permission to feel the hurt instead of offloading it.
No one likes to feel the hurt. So, people often offload it by chandeliering (ignoring the pain, then overreacting, or jumping to the chandelier when around those we have power or influence over), bouncing, numbing, or stockpiling it.
Alternately, in the rumble, we give ourselves permission to feel the emotion and sit in the hurt. We can use tactical breathing (aka square breathing) to bring awareness to what we are feeling. Short writing can be used to unpack our thoughts and emotions and help identify confabulations. (Isn’t that a great word?!) A confabulation is a lie told honestly. Our brains give us dopamine for completing the puzzle or coming to a conclusion, even if the conclusion is wrong. When we are working with limited or incomplete information, our brain fills in the missing pieces to make sense of the situation, and we create confabulations.
Compare your SFD to what you learn from your rumble. The deltas are your key learnings. Internalize those learnings, and integrate them next time.
We all need help and need to help. To avoid resentment: maintain boundaries, ask for what you need and want, and hold yourself accountable instead of blaming others.
Rising Strong | Brene Brown
Though the vulnerability and rising after a fall is a difficult topic, I love that Brene Brown addresses it with a light heart and a sense of humor. She is a great storyteller, and has great insight and wisdom to share. I thoroughly enjoyed her book, and suggest that you check out a copy for yourself!
Looking for another great self-help book? Check out Dare to Lead.